Calm Before the Storm: Chapter 10.

Previously:

He smiled as I followed him. Only God knows how much I've missed this smile. I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I missed him. I wanted to tell him how hard my life has become once he left. I wanted to tell him about my life updates. I wanted to stay with him for hours, but we don't always get what we want.

Me: "hatha mu elparking?"

Nasser: "sayarti"

Me: "tstahbl?" I sarcastically laughed, "ttwg3 eni brkb m3k sayartk?"

Nasser: "6yb... 5la9 wgfi hna"

We both stopped as we looked at each other. I waited for him to talk,

Nasser: "esm3i" he took a breath, "wallah ma adri keef agoulha w ana mali wjh, bs lw sm7ti 36eeni fur9a thanya"

Me: "la2" I immediately replied,

Nasser: "wallah el36'eem eni t3'yrt wallah, 3shan 5a6r el3shra elli benna"

Me: "ent eli 5nt el3shra mn elbdaya, ana ma swait shay 3'l6 Nasser la tstfzni!"

Nasser: "6yb abeek"

I felt so disgusted for a second, I know I miss him and we had a lot of great time together, but I don't want him back anymore.

Me: "ma agdr"

Nasser: "leesh?"

Me: "relationships are shit, tra knt bzr yom 5aweetk, w abdn ma afkr a3eed hl tjruba mara thanya, la m3k wla m3 3'eerk, ma ankr eni 3sht m3ak awgat 7lwa bs entaha wgt'ha"

Nasser: "ana 9adg b kl klma agoulha 6yb, w abi a56bk"

Me: "wdi a9dgk bs your words mean nothing to me wallah, your actions spoke the truth already"

My voice cracked and my eyes watered while I was telling him those words,

Nasser: "ma astahl dmou3k Judy, la t9e7een"

Me: "mani jalsa abki 3shank, you're not worth it 6b3n, I'm crying because my delusion of who you were was shattered by the truth of who you turned out to be"

He was about to say something but I interrupted him,

Me: "Nasser, jytk hathi w 6lbk mni eni asm3k kant fkra sy2a, lw sm7t la3d tklmni w etha tlagena la t7awl tgrb mni Allah ys3dk ana b6reeg w ent b6reeg, ana msam7tk w m7lltk bs 5la9 lw sm7t ensani w ensa eni arj3 lk"

I turned around to walk away but he called my name again,

Nasser: "Judy"

I turned around: "ha?"

Nasser: "you're still wearing the ring"

Me: " w etha?"

Nasser: "please, a second chance"

Tears gathered in my eyes again,

Me: "97 I promised not to ever take it off, bs tdri shloun" I took it off, "I just did" I tried handing it to him,

Nasser: "mar7 a54a Judy, hatha 7gk"

Me: "bs kan mnk!"

Nasser: "5leeh 3ndk 3shan t4kreeni, lw sm7ti"

Me: "ma abi a4krk wsh abi feek?!"

Nasser: "hatha a5r 6lb, w ana 3nd klmti bs 5leeh 3ndk"

Me: "you broke your promises Nasser, that's why I'm breaking mine too"

Nasser: "mu lazm tlbseena bs 5leeh 3ndk, please?"

I slid the ring in my bag and walked away while crying, I requested an Uber to take me back to the hotel. I know I didn't take off the ring once we broke up, and I truly wished that he doesn't notice it, but I just couldn't take it off. My phone rang while I was on my way, Alia.

Alia: "tstahbleen Judy weenk elfilm bybd2!"

Me: "esm3i ana a54t Uber w brj3 ok? Enti ma 3leek mni estansi w ws3i 9drk"

I tried my best to hide my shaky and cracky voice,

Alia: "haw leesh?"

Me: "t3bt shway"

Alia: "akeed ma feek shay?"

Me: "wallah mafeeni, bs jatni eldwra w 7st" I lied,

Alia: "ok, ana bt3asha w brj3 la tnameen 3shan tft7eenli"

Me: "ok"

Alia: "bye"

She hung up and I locked my phone. I had a flashback of what just happened and cried even more,

Uber Driver: "are you okay?"

Me: "yes I am, thank you"

Uber Driver: "do you want some water?"

Me: "no thanks, just give me some tissue please"

Uber Driver: "here you go" he handed me a box of tissue.

I wiped my tears but they were nonstop-able. I sobbed as we finally reached the hotel. I paid and closed the car's door shut. I quickly got in before someone sees my ruined makeup and mascara. I even had a tissue on my nose,

"Judy!" I heard someone shout my name,

I turned around and it was Musaab. He was sitting on one of the couches in front of the reception desk,

Me: "n3m"

Musaab: "wsh feek?"

Me: "wla shay Musaab mst3jla"

He got up and held my hands,

Musaab: "ejlsi"

Me: "mabi Musaab please la t3'9bni please!"

Musaab: "mu jals a3'9bk bs ejlsi"

I sat on the couch that was placed in front of him,

Musaab: "wsh feek? Enti mu elmfrou6' ray7a m3 9deegatk?"

And that was our first time ever to talk after our fight, and also our first time to sit together alone.

Me: "eeh"

Musaab: "wsh feek t'hawshtu wla wsho? Ween Alia 3nk?"

Me: "Alia tna6'r movie m3 9deegat'ha, ana t3bt w rj3t" I said as I wiped the tear that fell from my eyes. I bet I looked so damn scary. My mascara was all over my face and my makeup probably got ruined,

Musaab: "n9aba"

Me: "Musaab wsh tbi bl6'b6?"

Musaab: "abi a3rf leesh jalsa t9e7een"

Me: "wla shay, mumkin agoum el7een?"

Musaab: "wallah ma tgomeen leen tgoleen"

Me: "mar7 y3jbk elmw6'ou3 9dgni, 5l agoum a7san"

He remained silent for a minute and then finally replied,

Musaab: "ana adri ena elw6'3 9ayr benna awkward a5r ftra w dari leeh ma tbeen tgoleen, bs lw sm7ti gouli wallah 5r3teeni"

I looked at him as I thought if I should tell him or not. I somehow wanted him to see the pain I'm struggling with, but on the other side I didn't want to show him my weak side.

Me: "shfta bl9dfa"

Musaab raised an eyebrow: "meen?" he looked at me, "la ykoun eltbn?"

Me: "eeh" a tear fell from my eye again,

Musaab: "swalk shay?" he looked at my eyes, "ya weelk tk4been Judy wallah ma y9eer lk 6yb la enti wla eyah!"

Me: "ma swali shay"

Musaab: "wsh swalk 6yb!?" he didn't seem happy,

Me: "bs 7kaina" I wiped my tears and looked away,

He was too serious that I was actually afraid he might do something risky or stupid,

Me: "you wanted to know, la t39b" 

Musaab: "meen mrj3k?"

Me: "Uber"

Musaab: "enti t7beena?"

Me: "la2!" I immediately replied,

Musaab: "w laish jalsa t9e7een abi afhm!"

Me: "l2ni akraha mn kl galbi"

He knotted his eyebrows not getting me,

Me: "mst7eel tfhmni Musaab, w ana ma abi ashr7 lk, l2n we're over w 3mri mar7 arj3la wla ra7 aklm ay wld b7yati 3gba, ho 3'l6 mr b7yati w ana a54t drs mna, mmkn el7een lw sm7t ttrkni agoum w ma trj3 tft7li hl salfa mara thanya w we act like we never had this conversation?"

I got up without hearing his response and walked to the elevators. I pressed the button and then looked at Musaab one more last time. He was clasping his hands behind his head, and his head was placed between his thighs. He looked anxious and worried. My heartbeats raced again once I saw him like this. I just hate it when he's in such a bad mood. I miss him. I miss the old Musaab.

Nothing so important happened after that day, we spent our trip normally just like every year. Musaab and I would exchange stares sometimes, but I am so used to it.

We were back in Saudi 20 days later, Musaab stayed and didn't come with us since he studies there. Esraa and I got accepted in the same university while Alia applied for a different university because she is planning to study medicine, I tried to convince her to apply for the same university with me since it has the major medicine as well, but she insisted that her university was stronger and most of her friends are studying there, and things were back to normal.

The first two months of my foundation year in uni weren't that bad. The vibes were just a little different and it was hard for me to get used to it. I was so grateful that Esraa was with me though. I know I had many girls I knew from school with me but Esraa was just different. She gets me and we've been soul sisters for almost 10 years now.

After I was done with my midterm, I didn't have any classes left so I called Raju and he took me back home,

Mama: "jabk Allah, esm3i ana al7een ray7a beet jdtk l2n Musaab byw9l el Riyadh b3d shway"

Me: "hatha ma k2na yji ktheer?"

Mama: "ween elktheer 7ram 3leek, klha marra wa7da w hathi elthanya w 5la yji bra7ta wsh 3leek enti?"

Me: "ma yzhg 16 sa3a mashallah 3leeh!"

Mama: "a3outh bellah mn 3eenk, e6l3i jeebi 3bati bs w el7geeni bl maghrib klna bntjm3 hnak"

Me: "inshallah"

I went upstairs to get her the Abaya and she left. I WhatsApped Esraa,

Judy:

He is back again

Esraa:

Musaab?

Judy:

Yes

Esraa:

Hooray 🎉

Judy:

Tt6nzeen?

Esraa:

La

Judy:

I'm nervous

Esraa:

Get used to it

Judy:

Someone's not in the mood

Esraa:

Elzg Mukhtar lssa ma ja

Ana bljam3a lssa Allah ya54 el3du

Judy:

Careem duh

Uber

Esraa:

5la9 ho bl6reeg

Judy:

Allah y3eenk

Esraa:

Eff wallah 9dg I'm not in the mood abd

Judy:

Leesh ma glteeli aw9lk

Esraa:

Madri shdrani ena by6wl ketha

Judy:

Poor you

Esraa:

Please kli tbn

I ignored her and locked my phone. I took a nap and Kelly woke me up few hours later,

Kelly: "madam called me, she said wake Judy up"

Me: "what time is it?"

Kelly: "7 sharp"

Me: "are you serious?"

I got up,

Me: "why didn't you wake me up earlier? My sleeping pattern will probably get ruined" I fake cried, "I just fixed it last week!"

Kelly: "sorry Judy no one told me"

Me: "it's ok, where is Faisal?"

Kelly: "he went to jadda's house"

Me: "when?"

Kelly: "5 PM maybe"

Me: "ok thank you"

She left and I went to the bathroom to take a shower, I wore very simple clothes and applied some makeup. I called Raju and he took me to my grandma's house,

I got in and they were all sitting in the living room,

Me: "elslam 3lykum"

All of them: "w 3lykum elslam"

Me: "7mdellah 3la slamtk Musaab"

He was sitting on the far left next to my grandma, he looked at me,

Musaab: "Allah yslmk"

I was about to go take my Abaya off and hang it but I heard Aunt Yasmine talk,

Aunt Yasmine: "eeh w entu mu nawyeen tgoulon lna esh elsbb eli b3dkum 3n b39' ketha fj2a? Allah yr7m ayam knti tnagzeen yom tshofeen Musaab w t5meena!"

Ugh, I just hate it when they ask this question. Do I have to tell the same answer every single time?

Uncle Essam: "eeh wallah"

Musaab: "ma 9ar shay 3mti bs klmn lha bdrasta, wla 7na lssa friends, 97 Judy?"

I love him.

Me: "eeh haw, we don't have to hug everytime we see each other tara"

Aunt Yasmine: "elwld 9arlh 3 months mu jay els3oudiya w hatha tr7eebk lh y3ni?"

//

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Calm Before the Storm: Chapter 9.

Previously:

I locked my phone and put it aside.

Jana: "esm3o esm3o" she looked at us "elyoum birthday Musaab w 7na jaybeenla cake 93'eera w ketha"

Me: "bs elyoum mu 25 May" I interrupted,

Jana: "eeh I know, bl hejri" she smiled, "elzbda, ho al7een bl 7mam bs wgt ma ajeeb elcake please 3'no ma3ay ok?"

We nodded and I unlocked my phone again to check Esraa's chat again,

Esraa:
Esm3i 3adi wallah
Bs ma abeek tt3lgeen feh w b3den t3rfeen wsh y9eer 3gb
Y3ni enti ma tdreen etha ho y7bk wla yshoufk nfs e5ta
W akeed nfs e5ta a9ln
7ta lw y7bk don't ever get into a relationship again

Judy:

Tsthableen ma a7ba a9ln

Relationship elzmn

T5yli a7b wld 5ali

Sheli elfkra mn rask ma a7ba ana

Jalsa awhm nfsi

Esraa:

6yb la t9e7een bs

Entbhi ahm shay

Judy:

Ok

I raised my head to see if Jana went to bring the cake but I saw Musaab getting out of the bathroom staring at me so I immediately looked back at my phone,

Esraa:

Wsh feek z3lti?

Judy:

Ma z3alt bs m7tara y5ti

He keeps giving me mixed signals

Gbl shway ytbosm w ho y5mni w al7een y7gr

T3bt wallah

Esraa:

Munf9m ho b3d

I locked my phone, as soon as I did my phone buzzed again. It was a WhatsApp notification from Alia.

Alia:

6be3ya eln6'rat 7gt Musaab?

Judy:

Ma adri 3na

I switched to Musaab's chat,

Judy:

Would you please stop giving me death stares?

I looked at him while he took his phone out of his pocket and typed back,

Musaab:

Sorry

He thankfully didn't take his eyes off his phone after the message I sent,

Uncle Fahad: "ha Musaab yuba lgait 7jz 3la nfs 6yartna?"

Musaab: "eeh SV4907 97?"

Uncle Fahad: "ma adri wallah, l76'a ashyk"

He took his phone out of his pocket and checked something,

Uncle Fahad smiled: "eeh he nfs'ha"

I WhatsApped Alia,

Judy:

Musaab jay m3na LA? 😐

Alia:

He lives there you idiot

Judy:

Ohh 97 nsait

Incase I didn't mention yet, my family and I travel to LA every summer (usually after Eid but sometimes in Ramadan, depends on how long our summer vacation is)

The third week of Ramadan was finally here. I was counting the days down. I couldn't wait to go to LA. You guys have no idea how much I love that city. The memories I have there are unreal. I don't blame Musaab for insisting to travel and study there. I guess it's all of our family members' favorite city.

We travelled in Ramadan 28th and arrived in Ramadan 29th. Things were more than amazing there. The weather. The vibes. The people I'm with. I just have a thing for family trips.

Faisal: "yallah bnt25r" he shouted while opening the hotel's room,

Me: "5l9t 5l9t wallah"

Faisal: "Alia ween?"

Me: "waray"

Alia and I took the elevator and left, we saw Faisal leaning on his car laughing.

Me: "hatha eli m39b w ygoul t25rna?"

Faisal tried to hide his laugh: "shoufi hinak" and he pointed somewhere,

I looked at where he was pointing and saw Musaab taking a selfie with a girl,

I knotted my eyebrows: "meen 4i?"

Faisal still laughing: "wsh drani ana?"

Alia laughed: "shklha 3rbya 97?"

They were laughing but I wasn't. I was feeling something burn inside me,

Musaab and the Arabian girl chit-chatted for a minute and then he came back laughing. Faisal and Alia were laughing as well while my face was literally a poker. I was pissed. Musaab's facial expressions changed as soon as he saw me not laughing, but then Faisal spoke,

Faisal: "meen ha4i?"

Musaab: "ma a3rfha" he chuckled, "galtli mshabha 3laik 3adi a9wr m3ak?"

Alia: "3rbya 97?"

Musaab: "eeh she's Saudi"

Faisal laughed: "w ent ma 9dgt 6b3n"

Musaab: "wsho tbeeni akrsh'ha? 3eeb"

I was staring at them giving Musaab death stares, just like the ones he gives me.

Faisal: "ma a54t rgmha?"

Me: "w3 w3, wsh eli a54t rgmha matu eli yrgmoun tara"

Faisal laughed: "astahbl wsh feek 39bti?"

Me: "ma 39bt" I took a deep breath and realized I was extra angry, "ray7a ajeebli Starbucks, a7d ybi?"

Musaab: "ana abi... umm moya"

I stared at him underestimating his existence,

Me: "3ndna moya bl sayara"

I turned around and walked to Starbucks silently not waiting for his response or reaction.

I got in Starbucks and stood in the queue. I finally realized that all this time I was falling for Musaab. I've been thinking about him so much lately, and whenever I see him I get those butterflies. Cheesy, I know. But I grew too attached once, and when we suddenly grew apart I realized I love him. I used to think that I only consider him as a brother, but not anymore. I fell for him. I wouldn't get this jealous if I don't love him. My blood was boiling like a hot damn water and my heartbeats were racing like they were in a marathon over a silly thing. But the worst thing about it, is that he considers me as a sister. But it doesn't matter anymore, it won't change anything. I already fell and I have no idea how to get up again.

My phone buzzed, a WhatsApp from Alia,

Alia:

Ajl hatha elm5boul tbeena y56b?

Judy:

Eskti w3 karhta

Alia:

Leesh?

Judy:

Bs

Alia:

Are you hiding something?

Judy:

No

Well, I am, and I am not telling you, not now.

Judy:

Tbeen shay mn Starbucks?

Alia:

No thanks

I switched to Esraa's chat,

Judy:

It's official

Esraa:

What?

Judy:

I just got jealous and kind of showed it

I hate him

Esraa:

Chill and tell me what happened

I told her everything,

Esraa:

W3 w ho mstans 3leeha?

Judy:

Madri 3na

Bs wa6'7 y6g6g

Esraa:

I don't want you to fall in love again

Judy:

Too late

Esraa:

How's LA?

Judy:

So good!

I wish you were here

Esraa:

Ya leet my family goes to LA

London sucks

Judy:

London is beautiful

Bs inshallah one day we'll go to LA together ;)

Esraa:

I hope

I took my order and left, I saw the car parked in front of Starbucks and all of them were in. I hopped in the backseats next to Alia and we went to Urth Cafe to have brunch.

A week later, I woke up lazier than ever. It was around 2 PM but I didn't want to get up,

Alia: "ma b3'eeti tgomeen!"

Me: "t3bana shway"

Alia: "jat el3ma?"

Me: "lssa bs I'm PMSing"

Alia: "tbeen anzl aswe lk shay?"

Me: "wsh 3ndi 9ayra cute?" I laughed, "eeh abi n3na3"

Alia: "abeek t9797een 3shan elyoum elsa3a 8 elm3'rb bgabl 9deegati b Third Street w mama ma r7 tr9'a arou7 bl7ali" she smiled wildly,

Me: "mu l Allah y3ni"

Alia: "ll2sf"

Me: "6yb enzli sweeli n3na3 yallah"

Alia: "okay shway"

I stared at her clothes,

Me: "btro7een mkan el7een?"

Alia: "brou7 The Grove bbdl shay ams shreeta m3 Abdullah w bje"

Abdullah is her brother,

Me: "yallah eln3na3"

Alia: "zeen zeen"

She went downstairs and came back 10 minutes later with a teapot on a tray,

Nothing so important happened later. I started getting ready at 7 PM to go to Third Street Promenade with Alia. I applied simple makeup and we left,

Me: "ween btshofenhom?"

Alia: "glna gdam Starbucks, b3deen bnd5l elcinema"

Me: "ok, meen jay?"

Alia: "t3rfeenhom klhom, Ghalia w Mashail w Atheer"

Me: "okay mn hna Starbucks"

I led her to Starbucks as she followed me,

Alia: "shofeehum hnak" she pointed,

We walked to the girls and they greeted us, they were all there and we were the last ones to arrive.

Atheer: "yallah?"

Alia: "eeh"

Me: "esm3u entu esbgouni ana abi ashtri Starbucks ma asht'hi popcorn elcinema"

They nodded and left as I stood in the queue waiting for my turn,

Once I took my order, I left Starbucks and changed my directions to the cinema. I glanced Nasser with a bunch of guys walking opposite my way. They were facing me and Nasser and I's eyes met. I immediately looked away and walked a little faster so I can skip them. I saw Nasser changing his direction to follow me,

Me: "eb3d lw sm7t" I said without turning around,

Nasser: "Judy"

Me: "Nasser w elli y5leek eb3d 3ni lw sm7t"

Nasser: "mar7 a5leek leen tsm3eeni"

I turned around,

Me: "ha?"

Nasser: "ejlsi shway lw sm7ti" he pointed at one of the benches,

I laughed: "la mara m9dg nfsk ent"

He held my hands tight,

Me: "eflt ydk wla wallah ya Nasser b9r5 w ajm3 elnas 3laina"

Nasser: "bflt, bs t3ali ma3ay lw sm7ti"

Me: "Nasser ana jaya m3 ahli w mani nag9a mshaklk etrkni!"

Nasser: "aw3dk mar7 a6wl w m7d byshoufna"

I took a very deep breath,

Me: "fine"

He smiled as I followed him. Only God knows how much I've missed this smile. I wanted to hug him and tell him how much I missed him. I wanted to tell him how hard my life has become once he left. I wanted to tell him about my life updates. I wanted to stay with him for hours. But we don't always get what we want,

Me: "hatha mu elparking?"

Nasser: "sayarti"

//

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